I'm suffering from Chronic Grandpa Syndrome

Im 110% (110% is such a typical over exaggeration for people who suffer from Grandpa Syndrome) certain that i have Grandpa Syndrome. it is a Disease or a Syndrome that hasn't been medically proven yet, but it is none the less a scientific condition. Grandpa Syndrome you ask, what is that ? is it contagious, is it terminal? would it ever become an epidemic? no i hardly doubt it is, and No to all your various questions about its transferability. Well, Grandpa Syndrome is a disease that happens to Young Adults, or Emerging Adults, where those inflicted with it, seem to feel or appear 2 Generations older than what their biological age states that they are. As with every Disease or Syndrome, there are symptoms in which you can spot it or test whether you may be afflicted with it. 


the symptoms are as follows
you may have to bear with me, because this is a new disease or syndrome, it has been rarely reported on and there are only very few cases which have been physically documented. As time passes, there would

baggage

It feels like my passion for continually updating my blog seems to be waning, i have contemplated shutting it down from time to time, but as usual, im the kind of person who wrestles with myself on issues like this. One minute im perfectly fine with my blog, then the next minute and struggling to keep the fire alive. Then it often seems like i mis-represent myself with my blog. I seem like a heart broken, lost and down right depressed soul from most of the work and blog post i put out, but there is probably nothing that is more farther than the truth (well at-least i would like to think so). The truth is that, i often write my poetry during my down time, and i often realize i write better when i usually feel a bit down or during random lonely moments. Besides, Good news hardly sells, if it did, our News Media would focus on reporting all the Good in the world. lol. 

Anyways, lets talk about Baggages, we all have it. we carry it around with us. Some have small Baggages, other have huge as Baggages, we cant often tell how much baggage a person has just by looking at them. its until you really get to know the person personally then you realize (wow, you are really screwed up.... lol, joking) that this person has issues and the person is not as perfect as you once thought there were. 

I have been looking for the best way to address the dirty elephant in the room, but im just gonna be as Frank and sincere as possible. 

stupid silly emotions

hello blogville...... feels like its been ages, well it has been. i almost have forgotten how to post a new post up. haha. Truthfully, i had a bit of trouble signing into my blogger account, you see i have alot of passwords for every other account (i.e. email, school email, blackboard email, tax software, gaming software, hulu account, netflix account, insurance account) and in the mix of all these accounts i have, i forgot what password i put on this account. i usually log into many of these sites from my Personal Laptop and i give my laptop the option to store my passwords right, but if for some reason i ever get logged off, then i have to remember and search my brain for what the password i choose for a particular account is or might be. Anyways, im here. So, quick question, did you miss me? (i really hope so).
anyways, im back. i wrestled with the idea of closing my blog, because

These are a Few of my Fav things part uno

Hey there, i almost didn't notice you.... well since you are here, you might as well have a sit and let me talk or type your eyes out as you read all my public letters to the world and whoever who cares. lol. it is April and i am feeling super Random, maybe because my subconscious is telling me that the weather is getting warmer and its getting closer to summer (its hard for me to be gloomy when its nice and warm). So i am in a very sharing mood today, and im going to let you in on a more personal level. tell you a few things about me and you could do the same if you want to. So, like warm weather makes me smile and brightens up my day, i also have a list of favorite things

Quick Glances

im wide awake at 5am in the morning. Don't ask me why, or i might have to kill you.... i always wanted to work for the CIA so i could actually say that, the only problem is im scared of bullets. sounds like a very reasonable thing to be scared of right? well, im scared of falling in love and falling face flat too, but bullets seem more real to me. that is probably why i wouldn't join the Army too. but i think i am digressing from the issue i actually wanted to discuss. sooo, have you ever been walking all by yourself, on the street, or in a mall, or in school, or in the gym (well it doesn't really matter where you are walking, as long as you are walking) and then from across the room, or hall, or road, or right in front of you, your eyes

Something borrowed....... part 1

so, im posting or putting down things that i like which i didn't write but wish i did. people say no idea is ever really original or new, ideas are just lost and transposed over centuries, dressed up in pretty nice dresses and represented as new and improved. so, i am borrowing words from movies, from songs, from books and eventually from other writers that i subscribe to their blogs. 


"I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have

Prisoner of Love

Its Wednesday.... Oops, sorry wrong day. well whatever day it is, its a day of the week where i dont get enough rest . So, i am a prisoner of love, we all are at some point or another. you basically tend to be a prisoner of love when you realise that you are powerless to the nosedives and roller-coaster feeling you get when you want someone soo bad that it almost becomes unhealthy. Experiencing your raw emotions could be a beautiful thing, actually its all my experiences that i forcibly write down for you to read. so here is another raw emotion for you to enjoy.

the post is short, raw and to the point. let me know if you have ever felt or been in a situation close enough to mine.  

poem

im bound to her by my wishful thinking

of whatever it is that i wish we could be together

as she feeds me her affection in small enough rations

enough to keep me wanting more than what i have of her

but barely enough to get me through the day

So i hold on tightly to each ration she gives

not knowing if its the last i would ever get from her

i'm under the clear illusion that she is all i need

as all my logic has been locked up in solitary confinement

so i have carried full conversations with myself all alone in the dark

pretending my emerging split personality

was a softer side of her

the shackles tying me down are all imaginary

but they tug so hard

on the seams of my heart

that i almost rip open my heart everytime i try to walk away

"i feel no pain"

i repeat constantly to myself

hoping all the pain i feel would eventually subside

but when its all said and done

the fact remains the same

i'm a prisoner of love

and i am prisoner number 0851213

me on a Rant

*so this is probably gonna be all post, no poem.... oh you feel sad and you wish you had a poem to read at the end???(well, deal with it you big cry baby, haha, im mean). thinking back, 10 seconds ago, i probably shouldnt have let out a spoiler alert just yet. i should have made you anticipate a poem and bammm, disappointed. what can i say, disappointment is a part of life, we all get disappointed, we all disappoint people.


 So, apparently, i realised

Regrets

Hi, to  everyone new to my blog, this is a blog about love, life, love life, poetry and everything in between. im you average hopeless romantic, actually more like an old soul stuck in a young body. so i post as often as 2-3 times a week, on a subject topic and i usually have a piece of poetry following the post i make. i try to keep things fresh as possible and i am open to ideas on which you would want me to address. i have fears and worries and questions about love, just like everyone else so i am special but also like you. 


So, worries and Regrets, we all have them. we cant seem to avoid them. some people tend to have more regrets than others. others have a unique ability in being able to learn from their regrets and move forward from it. the thing most disappointing from regrets is the moment you start to think, "what if" what if i could have done things differently. would things still have occurred the way it did. the what if scenario is a scenario that is all too familiar with me. i am a person who is very critical and i could be hard on myself. yes i know worrying and fretting over my regrets would

i am giving you up for lent

disclaimer* I promise i really wanted to make this post short and too the point, but somewhere and somehow along the way it developed a life of its own. 

I am giving you up for lent and i seriously mean it. I am not necessarily religious, nor am i traditional, but this year for the next 40 days till easter, i am planning on being both. I need to practice this religious practice to remain sane, i am one email, phone call and text message away from losing all the progress i have fought so hard for. you may ask who it is i am giving up for Lent, and why am i giving up a person instead of a vice like chocolate or porn or fast-food. Well, Lent is about getting rid of a vice you have, a weakness that you ordinarily wouldn't be able to overcome by yourself. well it just so happens that the weakness i find hard to overcome happens to be a person. 

The person in question is

Emotional Rehab

So, it is sunday again and i can take a deep breath once again. All my fears have been shelved away in the past, and as the new week begins, i face new challenges and fears...(yay???not). So i was raised catholic, and last week wednesday was Ash wednesday and Ash wednesday is basically the beginning of lent. Lent just basically means, giving up something you cant do without for 40 days and 40 nights, a vice of yours. if you ask me, thats just a freaking cruel thing to do. if i couldn't do without Chocolate, then i have to give it up for 40 days, or if i couldn't do without Porn (for health reasons obviously) then i would have to give it up for 40 days and then die....lol. im not overtly religious, actually, im not in any sense religious, but i do still keep some traditions that reminds me of my childhood. So i am observing Lent this year. what i am giving up would be discussed some other day, but for now im talking Emotional rehab (did you like how i switched the topic so smooth like james bond? yes i am a dork, so deal with it lol)
what is Emotional Rehab right? well this is how i see it, to me, emotional rehab is

I guess this is foreplay then

Hey blogville, its been so long, i literally feel like its been ages... Can you tell i missed you? yup i sincerely did. well, kinda did. school and midterms were kicking my ass from last week to this week. now i have a breather and i can rant and fill you in on all the random and lovely things that have crossed my mind since we last spoke, (well, since i last ranted and you sat there in front of your computer screen and listened)
So lets talk about sex

When im not myself

The most important question a person can ask you is, would you love me when im not myself??? yeah, sure, the first thing you would want to say to answer the question would be, yes of course. but if you really get to thinking, and you exam the question, i think its a very hard question to answer honestly. im going to give an objective and subjective view on this topic. i would try not to sound preachy or annoyingly clawwy. Loving someone, or being in love with someone is easy, especially 

when love is for hire

I know my title sounds almost like a craigslist ad in the adult section (not like i know how the ads in there look like, i swear). did y'all miss me? i hope you did. even though i can hardly stay off this stupid blogville. my life is running into overdrive, from school, work and internships galore. if i could wish for one thing right now, it would be for more hours in the day, i need 48 hours on some days so i could get enough sleep and some "me" time. i feel busy busy busy, and im just starting, which brings me to the topic of my blog. when love is for hire, i think love or companionship should be for hire (i know i sound ignorant, but hear me out), especially in my case, because with the way my hectic schedule is, i have no serious time for a committed relationship, not that i wouldn't like one, but

I AM IN REPAIR

my title holds a huge amount of meaning to me. it reminds me of how much i have grown and how much more work i still need to accomplish. i am literally in repair. im in healing not from a broken heart, but from a broken soul. i call it a broken soul because it is a lifetime of learned and natural bad habits i have picked up. i have continually used my bad habits as crutches in my relationships, to explain why i am the way i am. i grew up being my best friend, i have gone through "change of best friends" so many times i have realised the only person that could stick with me, is truly me. when in life, you constantly see a pattern that, who ever it is you love keeps being taken away from you either physically or emotionally, you start to wonder if you are meant to have loved ones around. so i started leading unhealthy relationships where by, when i started to truly feel like i could fall in love or truly be happy, i start to panic, and the first thing that comes to my mind is "oh no, this person is gonna leave". so in order to avoid the person leaving,

I HIDE MY LACK OF ELOQUENCE BEHIND MY POETRY

Its friday morning and i know i should be asleep. i keep wrestling with my thoughts and i truly am losing. sometimes i feel i am shamefully incoherent without my poetry and its the little short words that keep my thoughts all in place, its all elementary actually, compartmentalize my thoughts and hand delivering it to everyone. This year, im deciding to make a few New Years Resolutions and hopefully stick to it. well i made a few last year, and i can say i kinda stuck to it. (ps i love the word "kinda", side note). i have a few raging topics in my head, and if i could i would spill all my thoughts out so everyone could see. i know i have been personal with my poetry but i figure i let you all in, in a few personal things about me, so today, i would fill you in on my Resolutions for the Year, my reason for my blog, the idea behind my blog name and things that make me frightful and worried. phewwwww, im almost sounding way too ambitious. maybe i might put a freestyle poem at the end for keep sake. 


so on to the resolutions for the Year


1) be more organized
i often find that im way too disorganized, i dont have an active way of time management. funny thing is i have gone to seminars on managing time and all that mumbo jumbo, i know a few practical things i need to do to be more organized, but i never seem to follow through on it. ok, how can i say this proper.... i am what you call a procrastinator. but

FEEBLE

its Wednesday, and finally i get some time to myself to breathe, there is just something about the mid week that makes me feel i could hit the pause button on life. Ahhhhhh (sighing out aloud). So #confession, it did feel weird that valentines day came and went with nothing special planned. No big weekend hotel getaway or no nice dinner or no gift exchange, im gonna have to get used to this. besides that anyways, i was thinking of the vision i have for this blog, and i would hate to be the cliche of just being another poetry blog, as i have said, i want to be like you favorite book, even though you may have read me, i would love you to come back and browse through my pages just so

the kinda love im looking for

hey yall, its Valentines day and love is supposed to be in the air, and obviously, my blog is about love and life and poetry on such topics, so i have to do the Cliche thing and write a poem on love..... Yay (kinda) lol. I hope we all look for positive and healthy ways to pursue love and continually enrich and renew love (for those who have found love, lucky bastards). I personally think, when you find love, you dont need a day in the year to celebrate it, i believe love should be some kind of personal adventure that

VENUS IN FURS

"And yet my love for you has become a sort of madness, the thought that i might lose you, actually lose you, torments me day and night...... i can no longer live without you, oh wonderful woman, believe me, believe me only this once, that this time it is not a phrase, not a thing of dreams. i feel deep down in my innermost soul that my life belongs inseparable with yours. if you leave me, i shall perish and go to pieces"~ Severin talking to Wanda


"it is sufficient to say that this woman is beautiful, i love her passionately with a morbid intensity; madly as one can love a woman who

SELFISH

The poem is about the feeling of powerlessness you feel sometimes, when you want something so bad, but you realize you have no control over it. When what you wish is not exactly what reality is. It tends to become a sense of what your expectations are Vs what the reality is. I write all my work as recently as a few hours before i post, so for the most part, i never really have any idea what my poetry's topic or subject is gonna be until i draw from a source of internal and/or external inspiration. The subject of the poem, is actually my blog itself. *I'm gonna get a lil selfish here* but i want you to view my blog like it were your favorite book, that even though you have read all the poems, you would still want to come around and browse through it because of a certain emotion you felt just from reading it. haha.... it sounds overtly ambitious for a newbie to blogville, especially since this is literally my 2nd or 3rd week. lol. but sincerely, every comment i get makes me giddy, and every tag anyone leaves on the footnote makes me excited, so please continue to make this little boy in a grown mans body excited. 


p.s. the poem could also really be about a female too. :) cuz i have a perv mind. (we all do, im just the first to admit it)


p.s. 2.... im being both selfish and selfless. 


SELFISH
selfishly i long to become your guilty pleasure
blushing and giggling at the thoughts of me
let your mind roam and let it get lost in me
rush over to me
like i am an addiction you are unwilling to go a day without
itching for a fix of me
sweating profusely
licking your lips
twitching nervously from the anticipation of me
you break out into cold sweats every moment you can't have me
i need to engulf your whole being
from you heart
to your body and your thoughts
i would eventually possess your heart
all exorcism is failure
so resist me slowly at your own feeble will
i want you fully and selfishly
let your thoughts of me remind you
of your favorite place in your world
as my words strum across your heart like southern blues
crass, raw and hurtfully truthful
tell me you would be back
and say it like you mean it
because, every-time you leave for just a moment
i get the feeling, 
i am ceasing to EXIST :(

love Song 4 no one

I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could i have missed my chance
and watched you walk away


~ John Mayer
so i got these lyrics from John Mayer's Love Song for No one, i listen to all sorts of music so you may see different post on my off days from lyrics of different artist. listen to it too.


so this is actually the first Vals day in a long while that i have been truly absolutely single....*yay, not. Apparently, being single is not really as cracked up as it appears to be (I have obviously been lied to). Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the fact that i answer to no one, and I don't have to build my day or my week around someone else other than myself, in essence, I enjoy being selfish for myself. Plus the perks of singledom have helped me to be able to concentrate on me and the evolving definition of what it means to be me, but when everything stops at the end of the night, The realization hits me fast and hard, as if i were tied to a train track, "I am single". 
In actuality, i would describe myself as this, i am easy to get along with, but i am darn to hard to please. 


p.s. im still weary of writing essayblogs, english is not my fathers language, and syntax errors in poetry is classified as literally license but syntax errors in a written journal is just plain ol illiteracy. lol. 

BARE

Mid week and because im an optimist, im choosing to see the week as half way done, so hurray wednesday, 2 more days until the weekend.....*not like i party or go crazy during the weekend*. With each new work of poetry i write, i surprise myself, i feel overtly ambitious to be writing a piece of work to post every other day. i haven't written so much work within so little time (finger crossing my heart, i swear). im usually a lazy poet, in the past, i always had to take a long while to finish my work and i have work written and scattered every where, but i feel this puts an order to things (thankfully). so this work, is one in which i hope i captured the emotion i was tryna convey. thats where feedback and constructive criticism comes into play, i would love to hear peoples opinions. all my poems are my babies, like a father who loves his babies, i love this poem too. 

Poem

her eyes tells of silent struggles she holds deep to her

lying to the world with every smile she flashes

she has a lunchbox filled with regrets and promises

every time i promised i would call

every time i promised not to hurt her

all the times i promised not to stop loving her

every single time i promised

now i am all out of promises

and she is bankrupt from trust

now her heart lays on a slab of stainless steel

it has frozen over from waiting with doors wide open

all the long lonely nights she had pleaded for warmth

trails of post-it-notes line the steps to her heart

"come again next time" a scribble says

"my heart is closed for love" the next says

"monster" another one says

each lie i told her has left her naked and bare

now she is looking for a pill to make everything better

a wonder drug that could numb all her useless emotions

one step away from the ledge of insanity

i am the soundtrack to this depression she calls her life

gloomy and paranoid but still hopelessly romantic

once again, i am whispering sweet nothings to calm her nerves

lies in which she finds comfort in

if i repeat them to her often enough

hopefully

it would eventually become her reality.

Edge of Desire

Don't say a word

just come over and lie here with me

cuz i am about to set fire on everything i see

i want you so bad i go back on the things i believe

there i just said it

i am scared you would forget about me

~ JOHN MAYER

EDGE OF DESIRE

there are quite a few songs that speak to me the way this song speaks to me, it shows how love can bring a man to his knees and desperately lead him to irrationality. love is an indisputable drug that leads you to do crazy things.i suggest you if you are fan of love and emotions, you should consider listening to the song. 

p.s. the reason why i dont write full blogs and i write poetry is cuz, my syntax is horrible, i write essays as if i were speaking, and written words and spoken words are two different things. hey, dont judge me, im a math guy. plus, my excuse is, english is not my ancestors language. bear with me.   

GRAVITY

its monday and the first thing that pops into my head is, when would the weekend come? anyways, in life, we come across a lot of people and then we meet that one person, who for some reason tends to understand and gets us to our core. everything seems so perfect, even when things aren't perfect. so this poem draws inspiration from situation. 

poem:

Blissful memories keep flooding my brain

borrowed memories which i don't own

these cheerful things are all i have from pulling me apart

this is release therapy to me

and i need to detox from all the emotions i have been feeling lately

because the thought of you stays heavy on my mind

like bricks weighing tons but being mislabeled as love

i swear love shouldn't have to hurt this much

and the funny thing is you are the only one who knows

the right words to hurt me the most

i need to runway or fly far away

but something always brings me right back to you

you are my personal gravity

anytime i feel like i am flying

you pull me right in

till im crashing down

a quickie and a song

so i almost decided not to post something here, its halfway between friday and saturday morning, my mind wouldnt rest until i post something, so this is not fully complete, but its a little something to hold you off till monday when i post a full poem, the song which follows is a personal favorite of mine, its how i wish, how i want to feel about the "one". 

the sight of you quickens my pulse

its too late for my poker face

because you can read through all my tells

from my sweaty brow 

to my uncontrollable blush, 

my skin turns a slight purple 

its christmas morning all over again

and to me, you are my personal Santa

like Raheem Devaughn said,

every word to this poem is about you.

p.s. the song or video doesnt show up if you arent using a computer. 

Suicide note

its wednesday and everything seems horribly wrong, i seem to be walking around with two left feet and an aura of possibly messing things up, its one of those days that everything that could possibly go wrong goes wrong, its like a cruel joke on you and the universe is in on. yeah thats how its feeling, for the past week, everything technological has turned on me, first it was my Macbook, then it was my Blackberry, then it was my Car. i smell techie conspiracy of the sorts. anyways, since things seem dark and bleak, my current post is definitely gonna follow suite. so here it goes. 


SUICIDE NOTE
Here u go, have my heart.....
I have no use for it.
Its practically worthless now,
the previous person I gave it too left it in Ruins
this is not another Sad letter to the world
Its a little fuck you to the world of hurt i concurrently live in
and to the chains of fate I'm bound to  
I'm a rebel without a cause, and today I'm rebelling against my feeble heart,
the resistance wouldn't be televised,
nor would anyone care about the concurrent uprising
I always wore my heart on my sleeves,
I changed all that by slitting my wrist
now I stand here bleeding eternally
In a pool of my blood and heartache
this is my personal suicide note to love

sunday morning :)

AUTHORS NOTE:
so its sunday morning (i say its morning because i am just waking up, even though its more like sunday late afternoon)  and the first thing that comes to mind is maroon 5 and their song sunday morning.... but im obviously missing all of the ingredients that make the song come to life.... for some reason, i can never explain why sunday mornings always feel so different from every other mornings, but i love that lazy feeling it brings, it gives a pause to an otherwise hectic schedule and lifestyle. im trying to make a consistency to how often i put out a new post on my poetry blog, so for now, im working a system out, it would probably be, every Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. so please do check the blog often if you like  this blog, and you could also comment on the post to share your opinion on whether you hated it, whether you liked it, whether it relates to something you are feeling at the moment, or whether you have felt it before, basically, you could write anything or just say HELLO. 
so my latest entry is a very short and simple poem that i like it. So here it Goes




POEM:
Lets go save the world
or lets just be lazy and lay here together
smiles and kisses lining the walls of our sudden memories
as always
each kiss tells a strangely familiar story
her lips are my personal diary
and i am itching to kiss and tell all my secrets
every curve on her body is an undiscovered new world
by morning, i am her body's explorer
sway this way
lick that slowly
suck here gently
directions i so happily oblige too
my reward is every gentle moan she gives
this is a slice of bliss i long for whenever we are apart
what is the use of words?
when we have body language

THE RUINS OF A BROKEN HEART

so many lips i have tried kissing
so i could forget the way your lips taste
i die a little each day
hoping that today 
i may just be strong enough to smile to the world
but i know my tombstone shall read
"here lies the man,
that died the death of a broken heart"
i have slowly become broken each minute
i promise that i curse the day we met
if i believed in the devil
she would wear a pink dress, high heels
and have your soft face
so innocent that it deceives
i could write a list of all the things i miss and remember
like
no 1. i miss how your body fit perfectly in my arms
and no 2. i like how each kiss made me time travel 
into all our unwritten promises of the future
but by number 4, i would break down
because all i have are these broken memories
broken promises
and broken pieces to my heart


P.S. LEAVE A COMMENT PLS :)

OPEN SECRETS

let me inhale you softly
as you turn wet from the tip of my tongue
to the base of your hips
let me taste you a little bit longer
for it has surely been a minute too long
waiting for you
my little secret is growing bigger
from the stench of your musty body
my arms have been civil for too many moments
lay down on you back
and resist at your will
for tonight
i am your master
and you are my slave

HEARTLESS

i promise this time is the last time
with all my shadows crawling into reality
faceless monsters swelling up with each teardrop
it all ends tonight
i promise you i have cupid in my basement
she is dead, chopped up and was severely tortured
i pray for an endless sleep
because living life is an unending nightmare
i have flirted with slitting my wrist
and just blaming it on an imaginary paper-cut
i am literarily the new king of sorrow
when would this hurt go
when would this tightness in my chest go away
something has been missing deep in my ribs 
ever since you clawed through my ribs 
now my heart sits there in a jar you own
amongst the rest you have on your display shelf 

The Lies I Long To Hear

Kiss me, 
just for a little longer
and whisper all the sweet nothings 
i have always imagined you saying to me
lie to me
for i give you my permission and my heart
steal my words with your passionate kisses and soft lips
the voices in my head
are slowly getting louder
so excuse me if im screaming silently 
as you walk away from me yet again
your presence is my therapy
your scent is my sanity
im crazy about you
no, actually i am just plain crazy without you
i would sell my soul over and over and over again
because i know being around you
is like free falling with a broken parachute
but its a pain so deep and so raw
im willing to make believe 
that my plunge from the edge of reason 
is actually more than a feeble attempt
in learning to fall in love

CAN NEVER HAVE YOU :(

i could keep pretending that i don't want you
but every-time i see you,
my blood turns a warmer shade crimson,
like an embarrassed school boy with his first crush
my heart skips beats as it tries to align with the rhythm of your footsteps
oh so naturally
your feet entrances me, casting voodoo or a different breed of black magic to my eyes
venus in furs
i know i don't need you but i want you 
a strong want that is a necessity to my being
like learning to breathe with oxygen as a first born child
i wanna devour you and your scent
stay a little longer
for im running out of excuses 
and all my witty comments seem less witty after i repeat them to myself
there is nothing as sad as the human moment
that i finally realize 
as much as i want, long and desire you
i can never have you