Quick Glances

im wide awake at 5am in the morning. Don't ask me why, or i might have to kill you.... i always wanted to work for the CIA so i could actually say that, the only problem is im scared of bullets. sounds like a very reasonable thing to be scared of right? well, im scared of falling in love and falling face flat too, but bullets seem more real to me. that is probably why i wouldn't join the Army too. but i think i am digressing from the issue i actually wanted to discuss. sooo, have you ever been walking all by yourself, on the street, or in a mall, or in school, or in the gym (well it doesn't really matter where you are walking, as long as you are walking) and then from across the room, or hall, or road, or right in front of you, your eyes

Something borrowed....... part 1

so, im posting or putting down things that i like which i didn't write but wish i did. people say no idea is ever really original or new, ideas are just lost and transposed over centuries, dressed up in pretty nice dresses and represented as new and improved. so, i am borrowing words from movies, from songs, from books and eventually from other writers that i subscribe to their blogs. 


"I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have

Prisoner of Love

Its Wednesday.... Oops, sorry wrong day. well whatever day it is, its a day of the week where i dont get enough rest . So, i am a prisoner of love, we all are at some point or another. you basically tend to be a prisoner of love when you realise that you are powerless to the nosedives and roller-coaster feeling you get when you want someone soo bad that it almost becomes unhealthy. Experiencing your raw emotions could be a beautiful thing, actually its all my experiences that i forcibly write down for you to read. so here is another raw emotion for you to enjoy.

the post is short, raw and to the point. let me know if you have ever felt or been in a situation close enough to mine.  

poem

im bound to her by my wishful thinking

of whatever it is that i wish we could be together

as she feeds me her affection in small enough rations

enough to keep me wanting more than what i have of her

but barely enough to get me through the day

So i hold on tightly to each ration she gives

not knowing if its the last i would ever get from her

i'm under the clear illusion that she is all i need

as all my logic has been locked up in solitary confinement

so i have carried full conversations with myself all alone in the dark

pretending my emerging split personality

was a softer side of her

the shackles tying me down are all imaginary

but they tug so hard

on the seams of my heart

that i almost rip open my heart everytime i try to walk away

"i feel no pain"

i repeat constantly to myself

hoping all the pain i feel would eventually subside

but when its all said and done

the fact remains the same

i'm a prisoner of love

and i am prisoner number 0851213

me on a Rant

*so this is probably gonna be all post, no poem.... oh you feel sad and you wish you had a poem to read at the end???(well, deal with it you big cry baby, haha, im mean). thinking back, 10 seconds ago, i probably shouldnt have let out a spoiler alert just yet. i should have made you anticipate a poem and bammm, disappointed. what can i say, disappointment is a part of life, we all get disappointed, we all disappoint people.


 So, apparently, i realised

Regrets

Hi, to  everyone new to my blog, this is a blog about love, life, love life, poetry and everything in between. im you average hopeless romantic, actually more like an old soul stuck in a young body. so i post as often as 2-3 times a week, on a subject topic and i usually have a piece of poetry following the post i make. i try to keep things fresh as possible and i am open to ideas on which you would want me to address. i have fears and worries and questions about love, just like everyone else so i am special but also like you. 


So, worries and Regrets, we all have them. we cant seem to avoid them. some people tend to have more regrets than others. others have a unique ability in being able to learn from their regrets and move forward from it. the thing most disappointing from regrets is the moment you start to think, "what if" what if i could have done things differently. would things still have occurred the way it did. the what if scenario is a scenario that is all too familiar with me. i am a person who is very critical and i could be hard on myself. yes i know worrying and fretting over my regrets would

i am giving you up for lent

disclaimer* I promise i really wanted to make this post short and too the point, but somewhere and somehow along the way it developed a life of its own. 

I am giving you up for lent and i seriously mean it. I am not necessarily religious, nor am i traditional, but this year for the next 40 days till easter, i am planning on being both. I need to practice this religious practice to remain sane, i am one email, phone call and text message away from losing all the progress i have fought so hard for. you may ask who it is i am giving up for Lent, and why am i giving up a person instead of a vice like chocolate or porn or fast-food. Well, Lent is about getting rid of a vice you have, a weakness that you ordinarily wouldn't be able to overcome by yourself. well it just so happens that the weakness i find hard to overcome happens to be a person. 

The person in question is

Emotional Rehab

So, it is sunday again and i can take a deep breath once again. All my fears have been shelved away in the past, and as the new week begins, i face new challenges and fears...(yay???not). So i was raised catholic, and last week wednesday was Ash wednesday and Ash wednesday is basically the beginning of lent. Lent just basically means, giving up something you cant do without for 40 days and 40 nights, a vice of yours. if you ask me, thats just a freaking cruel thing to do. if i couldn't do without Chocolate, then i have to give it up for 40 days, or if i couldn't do without Porn (for health reasons obviously) then i would have to give it up for 40 days and then die....lol. im not overtly religious, actually, im not in any sense religious, but i do still keep some traditions that reminds me of my childhood. So i am observing Lent this year. what i am giving up would be discussed some other day, but for now im talking Emotional rehab (did you like how i switched the topic so smooth like james bond? yes i am a dork, so deal with it lol)
what is Emotional Rehab right? well this is how i see it, to me, emotional rehab is

I guess this is foreplay then

Hey blogville, its been so long, i literally feel like its been ages... Can you tell i missed you? yup i sincerely did. well, kinda did. school and midterms were kicking my ass from last week to this week. now i have a breather and i can rant and fill you in on all the random and lovely things that have crossed my mind since we last spoke, (well, since i last ranted and you sat there in front of your computer screen and listened)
So lets talk about sex