hard to please

im easy to get along with but im soo hard to please.... actually im hard to get along with, a friend of mine told me im high maintenance in relationship situations. she was probably right. Thursday was my birthday, and the day didnt feel any different, except that i was constantly reminded that i was growing older (i have an Aging Phobia: fear of getting old).

New Girl called me early to wish me a happy birthday and she decided that she was going to let me in on what my birthday gift was, she was about to buy tickets to the Christmas show at Radio City Hall with the Rockettes... and you wouldnt believe what i told her.... i told her thanks for the Gesture, but i wasnt interested. I know it seems like a very mean thing to say, but my logic was that... im having very serious doubts about any kind of future between me and her, and i would hate for her to spend all that money on an experience neither her nor I would be able to forget... though i came up with an excuse and i excused myself out of it.

the truth is, i like her, but i dont think i like her enough to stop being my own person... im still in love with me, for very selfish reasons... and these lil weeks i have dated her for, have shown me that im not yet interested in settling down (maybe im not yet interested in settling down for HER in particular), but its brought some sort of Clarity to me.

I know i need to have The Talk with her soon enough (preferably this weekend) but im still trying to hold out, i guess im hoping for some divine sign to show that im being to hasty in my decision...

i already feel like a Jerk, But i figure i might as well just end it right now before stronger feelings start developing and she decides that she wants to do something Drastic.

About the New Girl

I dont want to give you the wrong impression, i need love and affection.... and i hope im not sounding too desperate, but i need love and affection ~ love song Rihanna featuring Future

Hello Blogsville... Soo im finally dating someone seriously now, i would call her "New Girl"... well i have dated alot in the past but none have been this serious quite soo soon. on paper she has quite a lot of pros than cons on my list of  qualities for a serious girlfriend....

yeah i have a list of Qualities i look for.... and soo should you. its not like my list covers 2 or 3 pages, its pretty short and simple... i believe a girl needs to be college educated (either in college, gone through college or future college aspirations), physical attraction, open mindedness, nice/compassionate/considerate, nice physique and ambition.... see, i have a small list.

Anyways back to the topic, so i started dating a girl, met her in class, first time i met her i thought she was african, she has very strong african facially features (those kind of features that makes you spot your own kind out in the street) and she also had a big butt, soo i thought she most be Ghanian or something (well she isnt african, she is caribbean actually). She sat right in front of me the first day of class and i found it challenging to concentrate. i dont know whats up with me lately, but Big Butts are apparently in and my attraction radar is honing on to that.

Anyways.... we spoke off and on... she always seemed lukewarm during our conversations so i never really pushed it.... my prof had us do some group exercise soo i eventually had to get her number (i hate asking people for phone numbers because i never use it)... Soo thats how i got her phone number.
Asked her out on a date a week after i got her number, she refused the first time, Asked her again the following week, then she reluctantly agreed...

 Anyways, i just realized, this post isnt really about my first date with her, nor is it about how i first met her. its about how i always seem to find something wrong with every person i try to date...
Sooo me and New Girl just started dating about 3 or 4 weeks ago. you would think i should still be in the honeymoon phase right? well wrong... im almost ready too stop talking to her completely....

and im not sure whether the problem is her... or the problem is really me.

Things i have an issue with that New Girl does
New Girl calls me pet names and stupid shit like that... things like Baby, Babe, Sweetie.... no, i didnt say she texts me pet names, i mean she literally calls me pets names when im around her in public.... maybe its because i havent been in something serious for awhile, but i cringe whenever i hear her say that shit... i have told new Girl that my Regular Government name would be fine, but she still insist.

New Girl wants to see me Everyday... i dont mean that figuratively.... the first week she said that, i thought it was cute... but since the first week she has been very persistent... even after she sees me for the day, she calls my fone to tell me that she misses me even though she just saw me... its soo cute i almost feel like i need to Barf. now its moved from being cute to almost insanely clingy.

New Girl tried pulling a PDA on me.... i have never been one for PDA, even in my long term relationships... i hardly PDA'd, soo it was soo surprising to me when she tried PDAing even though we were just dating... granted that it could become more than dating possibly in the future, but for now and even in the future, PDA is a big no no for me.

New Girl is way too nice... nice in the fact that she checks up on me about whether i have eaten, if i woke up on time to go to work (im not a morning person so i often times sleep through my work Alarm).... she does way to much right now at the dating stage we are in... its only been 3 weeks and she seems like she is auditioning for future wife. im not sure im to happy with all this extraness that she is doing.

I know i seem like a Jerk for second guessing New Girl, because she is basically trying to show me that she has enough potential to be serious. But it just feels like she is doing too much or trying too hard... i want a serious relationship but im not dying to jump back into a relationship.
i like her, but she just needs to dial it back a little bit especially since a few days ago she said the L word and i just didnt know how to respond... i said thanks, that seemed like the only thing i really could say.

i think it may have been easier on me too tell her that we need some time to think things through and take a break at this point but i almost feel guilty right now because she literally broke up with her Boyfriend within the past 2 weeks just soo she could show me how serious she wanted us to be.....

Truthfully New Girl isnt a bad person to be in a relationship with.... but something about her just seems abit crazy.... am i the only person that sees this or im just over reacting?

Long Time No See

Long time no blog/see/read/speak... choose whatever verb you want. all i know is that it has been a while. With the craziness of Hurricane Sandy, My Job, School and my Dating life, shit has been real. this is gonna be a little update, i feel bad that i havent been communicating with anyone for a while so i want to tell you guys that im fine. sooo summary updates

my Crush.... i already said fuck her, soo im not even supposed to be talking about her. Actually its more like an Ex Crush.

i realized that i havent spoken about the 40something year old woman i mentioned a while back.... well i decided im not going to expand on the topic, the main jist is that, she flirted with me, i was bored so i flirted back, i kissed her, we made arrangements to have sex later, but i backed out before shit got real... first off, she is def old enough to be my mum, Second Off, if im going to be sleeping with an Older Woman, she better be a Sugar Mama, and she def didnt seem like she had enough Sugar.

I stopped paying attention to Niajablog Awards once i didnt get nominated.... fuck that blog.

School is kicking my butt but im almost done.

If i were an Anonymous blogger, i would spill some seriously confidential jist, but since im not... oh well.

So i started dating seriously, i met someone, she is cute, dark skinned, smart, nice physique and is above the legal drinking age, but she has/had a boyfriend. well at this point i have no idea what she has.... but we have been on a few dates... urghhh dates sounds soo formal. anyways things are getting kinda serious... well maybe a little too serious ... because 2 weeks after i met her, she went from telling me how much she loves her BF too telling me that she is breaking up with him. Well as always there is always more to the story, but its 2am and im sleepy so this is all you would get for now.

ohhh yeah, i just joined the people of the 21st century.... finally moved over from a blackberry to an iPhone, soo now i actually can use cool apps like instagram and all that good stuff.... email me your instagram and i would add you.

p.s. its my birthday month.... if you guys feel inclined to send me a gift, i would gladly receive it.