I HIDE MY LACK OF ELOQUENCE BEHIND MY POETRY

Its friday morning and i know i should be asleep. i keep wrestling with my thoughts and i truly am losing. sometimes i feel i am shamefully incoherent without my poetry and its the little short words that keep my thoughts all in place, its all elementary actually, compartmentalize my thoughts and hand delivering it to everyone. This year, im deciding to make a few New Years Resolutions and hopefully stick to it. well i made a few last year, and i can say i kinda stuck to it. (ps i love the word "kinda", side note). i have a few raging topics in my head, and if i could i would spill all my thoughts out so everyone could see. i know i have been personal with my poetry but i figure i let you all in, in a few personal things about me, so today, i would fill you in on my Resolutions for the Year, my reason for my blog, the idea behind my blog name and things that make me frightful and worried. phewwwww, im almost sounding way too ambitious. maybe i might put a freestyle poem at the end for keep sake. 


so on to the resolutions for the Year


1) be more organized
i often find that im way too disorganized, i dont have an active way of time management. funny thing is i have gone to seminars on managing time and all that mumbo jumbo, i know a few practical things i need to do to be more organized, but i never seem to follow through on it. ok, how can i say this proper.... i am what you call a procrastinator. but
i am a somewhat productive procrastinator. i procrastinate with a sense of purpose, i seem to delay doing an activity A that may be somewhat urgent to participate in doing an Activity B. Perfect example, i should be sleeping in bed right now, because i know my day when i wake up today would be hectic. i literally have full days 6 days outer the week, but instead of sleeping, im staying up late blogging and catching up on missed tv shows. So in essence i am kind of robbing peter to pay paul, but its with time management. 
proactive ways in which i have tried to counter this is, i went out and bought myself a planner, like a daily planner and that way, i tend to write a to do list daily, weekly and monthly, and i also get to keep track of which courses have homeworks due and which course have midterms coming up, plus my blackberry also helps out too. 


2)Not Cheat
when i say not cheat, i mean in a relationship of any sort. in previous relationships, i have cheated or i have encouraged females i know to cheat. this is wrong and unhealthy for various reasons. so this year, im having a no cheating relationship. so if i end up in a relationship for anyreason this year, i am not gonna be cheating. and it also goes both ways, if i haven to meet a girl in a relationship and i like her, i would have to back away and not encourage thoughts of her cheating on her boyfriend. 


3) Lead healthier personal relationships
i suck at keeping in touch, i suck at being able to fully let go within human relationships. i tend to demand a whole lot, while having my fist clenched tightly. i am difficult. i am paranoid, i am insecure, basically, i have issues, and lots of them. but i can thankfully admit that i have issues. its part of the human experience that i live in. All my Ex Girlfriends went through some form of hell. i was much worse when i was younger, but coming across a lot of good woman have molded me into a semi decent gentleman now. i have been able to establish that my personal relationships suck, so i have been currently working on myself, but mentally, physically and Emotionally. Dont get me wrong, i could still be cynical, but im trying my best to be a little less cynical every new sunrise. 




Okay so on to the reason i blog. 
my first work of poetry was way back in High School. i wrote my first piece for a girl i had a huge crush on. she eventually saw it, and she also thought i was decent looking so she decided to be my GF. i often wrote poems sporadically, after then, actually, i hardly wrote anything after high school. i started to forget how i enjoyed writing poetry and how i loved the thought process of drawing words together and creating some sort of story (and hopefully pulling some form of emotion too). and since this is the year of personal growth, i figured i start writing back again to keep my mind busy and keep myself sane. see, i got out of a relationship about 7 months ago, but i previously to that, i have been in relationships for as long as i could remember. i have never really had some down time with myself to watch myself grow and rediscover the essence of me. so within these 7 months, i have been able to catapult some sort of personal growth and repair myself. so this blog is to detail my journey in self growth. plus i am also an attention whore so if anyone enjoys my blog it also makes me have a good day. what can i say, im only human. lol. 
truth be told, i have glaring flaws and as you follow my blog, it would be evident, all my flaws would disappoint you, i myself would disappoint you with something i might say or some image i might post. 
as the title suggests, i hide my lack of ELOQUENCE BEHIND MY POETRY. 


im a tad bit worried that i might lose sight with my blog, and i am also worried that i would become just another cliche poetry blog. i am also worried that i would not live up to my expectations, or expectations anyone else might set for me. i am worried that i have all these worries, because at the end of the day, not too many things in life deserve worries. but i still remain worried. 




Poem:


lets take a stroll underneath the night sky
telling all our secrets to all the stars in the milky way
as we smile at all the silly things we love about each other
i like the way you pronounce my name
so foreign like your words are at war with English
come a little closer 
as we make interlocking chains 
with our hands clasped like key and lock
its those big buggy eyes i feel in love with
its those kissable lips that stole my senses
i know this sounds cliche and quite Jerry Maguire-sq
but you had me at hello
and i have since 
been shamefully and powerlessly yours