Caution: this is a Short and Sweet post.....
(ok maybe not sweet, but its short though)
(*only if i mistakenly get carried away with the post and i begin to go on a tangent, but i honestly swear that i intend on making this as short as possible)
(**Just incase this post isnt short or sweet, just count it as your Surprise for the day)
Soooo, truth be told, i almost feel like im suffering from all those symptoms, in one form or another, i havent quite been feeling like myself, i have been off my mental game.... its almost like that feeling when you feel like you are the passenger in your body. yeah, exactly that, i feel that same way. The only problem is that this male PMS thingy isnt just lasting for a few days, like how female PMS does, its seems to be lasting for almost a month now, i just feel very funky with the idea of that.
i havent really been feeling like being around anyone else but myself, i feel abit more reclusive, i deleted my Facebook, i deleted my Twitter account (i deleted both accounts forever), i deleted half of my BBM contacts (yeah a bit drastic, considering i had about 120 contacts, now i have about 60ish) i deleted Fone numbers, i was actually about to Switch my Phone number once again (Yeah i have issues). All plans which i have made within the last 3 weeks have been broken, mostly by me, i feel bad but life goes on. I hardly could stay on the fone or chat with a person on BBM for more than 10 mins previously, now that i have been on my PMS, by the 3 min, im already dieing to end the Conversation, its not anything about the person, its more about me. I have been way too moody for myself lately.
Things which happened over the past month,
I got Sick, my Sinuses flared up and i had to be in bed for almost 4 days, im such a big baby when im sick, i Never understand why that happens. i want chicken noodle soup and i wanna be pampered. lol. i hardly ever wanna see anyone or be around anyone when am sick, only a select few people come to mind, but other than that, stay far away. nooo, seriously, stay away.
My Grandpa Died, it still hasnt hit me yet, i guess death never really hits you until you see the finality of it when the person lays still in the coffin and you realize, that there is no coming back to life for the person.... my mum had so many memories of him, i had a few, Thankfully both my mum and my memories were all good ones, i tried staying home with her, talking and just tryna be the young Husband to her.... he is going to be buried beginning of september (funny enough, i had a horrible fever the day he died), i cant go because i have school and im going to be in charge of my siblings.
i am alive and i am living, sooo my blog would still continue as usual.
#DearFutureWife I'm a handful. im apologizing in advance.
Poem
i think i found my new favorite place in the world
deep within the walls of her being
as she clasps her legs around my waist
like a harness on a rollercoaster theme park
or seatbelts to a car
begging me not to let her go
as i suck, lick and bite
from her lips to her neck
her grasp reminds my body
of a tightly bounded safeplace my mind yearns to runaway too
im no more sure if its love im looking for
but whatever it is that im searching for now
i know i found it
deep within the pits of her being
sounds like a case of depression to me. Hope u feel better soon, if not, you should consider going to see a doctor or something.
ReplyDeleteThere is such a thing as Male PMS, though im sure thats not the name for it. men go through hormonal cycles just like women do though i can't comment on the frequency or duration. You do sound depressed though. I'd say give it a lil while longer and if you don't feel better than you should definitely talk to someone (whether it be your pastor if u have one, an actual counselor, or just a good friend or family member).
ReplyDeleteHope u are in better spirits soon.
Aww i have missed your posts now i see why i wish i could help but i dnt knw what the right thing to say is cos i really dnt knw the situation all i can say is take a break,have a vacation,alone time,find a new hobby or something i feel like this sometimes so i "kinda" know how it feels and like "they" said talk to someone it helps hope u feel better soon *smooches*
ReplyDeleteEeya, no wonder you've been absent. I hope you are better now. I also hope you won't ask yourself why you did those drastic things later
ReplyDeleteSorry about your Grandpas death, may his soul forever rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are sad and lonely, I think depressed will be too strong a word to describe what you are going through. Talk to a therapist, do something you have never done before, take a class for something silly ( honestly, this works, talk to a complete strager. I pray you feel better. Hugs**
Thanks All, First off, when i got 3 replys saying i was depressed, i had the Knee Jerk Reaction of saying... but, im not depressed, but i realized maybe i might be, but because we as Africans, or me as an African man, i feel there is a stigma with the word depression, i had the knee Jerk reaction. i know for certain i havent been myself, i cant pin point why, but im certainly going to burst out of it. Its summer for Christ Sake, i need to be out and about.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the Love and Concern, i highly appreciate it, this blog forum is a place i can come and bear myself, so sometimes even talking or writing my feelings down relieve the weight off my shoulder sometimes.
p.s. If you knew me in person, or if you had a secret video camera following me, you would definately disagree about me being lonely or feeling lonely.
my isolation on most social media comes from the fact that i gathered way too many contacts which gave me a sense of Pseudo popularity. (FB calls all my contacts friends, when in actuality most of them were acquaintances who were plain ol nosey about my life).
dont get me wrong, i personally knew everyone on my FB and a huge amount of people from my Twitter Account, but i also knew that i wouldnt be calling any of them if i got into a sticky situation in real life.
and once again, everyone ignored the poem. lol....
ReplyDeletei like how all my followers seem to forget that this is a poetry blog.
Me no likey poetry at all!!!!
ReplyDeletedude! u need to hang out with people like me and my bestie more ...we have this power that chases "blueness" away :p
ReplyDeleteis ur poem what I think it is? :$ that raw? :$
@AbiTobi.... Maybe i need that, but i find that impossible since you are over in America's Ugly Step Sister (Canada) lol... jokes.
ReplyDeleteyeah it is probably exactly what you think it is. lol.
Lol i thought i mentioned something about the poem,i love!!!!!!!!!!!! it hoping it happens to me soon *sighs*
ReplyDeleteloool .. oh no! u "di-i-'n'-it!
ReplyDeletePele about your grandpa! I have serious relationship with my grandpa so that would destroy me. It will pass hun. P.s. you left out two distinct traits associated to PMS acne and being hypersexual.
ReplyDelete~Sorry about your grandpa :/
ReplyDelete~... dude, I don't know what else to call it but depression.. a mild case probably.. it's probably physiological (i.e. what Male PMS would be). I find sugary goods tend to help temporarily and then forcing myself to be in the very social engagements I desire to cancel. Usually turns out to be quite elevating.
~.. your poem, man.. this should be part of a series called "odes of a bachelor"