This is the feeling you get when you are coming down from a high, Like the day after you have you first ecstasy pill, the high is unlike no other, and you life couldnt be better than what you feel at the moment, every one is beautiful to you, and everything in the world shines brightly with unending beauty. no more worries, wars dont exist when you are that high, peace and love are emotions that you can feel running through you veins, and life is in full HD. then when you wake up from the high, there is nothing in the world that can make you happy, you are in a depression that life becomes almost meaningless, you flirt endlessly with suicidal thoughts and death.... and you arent certain if you really would ever follow through with all the flirting. This is the morning after.
the morning after taking drugs, the morning after your heart ache, the morning after all unnerving addictions.
we all have morning afters, there might never be this graphic or this detailed, but we all have those lows... so this was inspired by one of those lows.
Poem
Sooo all my emotions are synthesized
my cries for help
are drowned out by the imaginary voices
that kept me up from the night before
im busy trying to get to a high
to a higher altered state of mind
its the only way i can cope with my reality today
smoke a lil more
drink till the bottom of the bottle
empty mindless sex
these are all my companions
the morning after
p.s. im wondering if any of my followers have every flirted with suicide??? im also wondering if any of my followers who have, would be willing to admit something like that????
Funny I just got back from LadyNgo's comment box, encouraging you to put up a post...only to realise that you had updated 25mins before I posted the comment.
ReplyDeleteI havent considered suicide before and hope I never have to.
Just be easy on yourself and find your way to your happy place
Hmm deep. I havent considered suicide before, but in one of my lowest low a couple of years ago i prayed i die in my sleep. I am glad God did not answer my prayer. Life is beautiful. Yes it is full of ups and downs, but that is the way you gain life experiences. hopefully it makes you stronger in the process
ReplyDeleteyes i have seen the improvement in your posts. I am so proud, i taught you well lol.
I've never seriously contemplated suicide before. In my youthful "i hate everything and everybody" angst, i thought about it, but never would have ever truly considered doing it.
ReplyDeletei have.
ReplyDelete:o!
ReplyDeleteI have never considered suicide before and i really dnt want to get to that point i hope things get better n like HD said u need to find ur happy place.....
ReplyDeleteI came to ur blog last night to see if you had posted anything new and when I saw it I thought it looked vaguely familiar so I decided to skim through it quickly and realized that I had in fact read it. I went to read the comments and was surprised that I hadn't commented because I thought I had, but I shrugged it off thinking "oh well". And I wasn't planning on commenting to this 'twighlight zone' like blog, but lo and behold I am on my phone's browser and what do I find? I was signing in to comment on this very blog! Lol I then remembered that I was having technical difficulties when I was trying to comment. I HAD tried commenting. I went back on the page assuming the comment box would reload and my comment would disappear, BUT! This was not the case. There awaited my comment begging to be posted. So below is my comment. That seems to have so desperately clung to life despite having little to fight for.
ReplyDeleteOf course I must ask.. What inspired this blog? To be on such a high that to come down is so low? Where is that coming from; what is that about?
I don't know if I've ever TRULY considered suicide, i.e. I don't think ive ever gone beyond the thoughts of "I want to die", "People would be better off without me", or "I just want the pain to go away... I can't do this anymore". Actually I've contemplated things I wouldve done to do it and they all seem worse than living. Especially what it would do to my loved ones. I'd never be able to live, or not live rather, with that.
In the past,i have said a lot of times 'God please take me away from here cuz im too scared 2do it myself' but ive also gotten into times when i wondered why i would have ever wished to leave. Depressing!
ReplyDeletehmn, life tries soo hard to suck u in but i would never give life the satisfaction of giving up so suicide is never on my plate. Life hands me lemons, i make the baddest-ass lemonade and tell Life: in ur face sucker #wink
ReplyDeleteoh Yes... we have our highs and lows...
ReplyDeleteWhat would be the point of life if we didnt....
Nice poem. thanks for sharing.....
Btw hows it going with that lady???
the thoughts of suicide has popped in my head but what would be the point of sending my sweet nature self to a place many would give anything to come back to have just one more chance. Besides, I do not have the strength to inflict pain on myself like that.
ReplyDeleteI have life and am grateful and I pray to make the most of it.