Voices in My Head

Can i call myself crazy if i hear voices in my head, or do i just label it as something else, like "creative insight"? dont worry, the voices i hear usually advice me to do good things, so i guess its ok. i have been holding out from blogging because im certain people would easily judge and say, "this nigga is Crazy". its not Kosher to use the N Word, but i only used it because i assumed other people in the world actually say the word in their minds. though i must admit, i sometimes think i might be crazy, or that i cant tell for certain that im not entirely crazy. i have come to realize that the mind works in very strong and mysterious ways. i have read articles and i have also taken cognitive Psychology classes about how the human mind works. The Human mind is Scary and entirely fascinating. 


Im not a Writer, and i sometimes struggle with proper communication of all the words that roam around in my head, i try my best at communicating effectively, but i know i fall short by a mile or more. I only think about the voice in my head because at any given time, i always feel like im trying to suppress things that are running wild in my head. Not everything i say or write would be received positively.... i almost dont care if it isnt received positively (but as humans, we all tend to want to be loved or liked)... i often have opposing ideas or opposing moral views in my head. it almost feels like there are two MEs in me. 


i have the good boy trying to be happy, staying positive, trying to find myself in a healthy happy committed relationship with a person that i can build something with, then i have the evil person that creeps in when i least expect it, im devious, im emotionally unavailable, i objectify material things and i have not depth to me. 
this forum is not my psychiatry office and you are not my psychologist, i have a lot of growing to do.
All i can do is grow and pray for personal growth, we all have some disturbing issues, some have more issues than others, i can only hope anyone who wants to stick around me would have as many issues as i do.... whats that saying, misery loves company. 
im broken and i tend to fare better in relationships with someone whom is just as broken. 


besides all that emotional, melancholic bullshit..... here are some updates..... school is back in session, work has always been in session, im slacking big time on my gym and i need a workout partner or some crazy motivation. 


an Artist you need to check out is The Weeknd, the group is going to blow up like Drake did. he is Hedonistic and absolutely genuis, he work is very dark, so if  you are happy go lucky, stay the hell away from his Work. his work is totally polished, and well done. i just discovered "the Weeknd" over the Weekend (pun intended) and i cant stop playing his two mixtape albums. You can download his free Albums from his website, CLICK ON THIS TEXT 4 LINK 


its 5 aM in the Morning, i should be sleeping but i had to write this poem, its been on my mind for a few days so i had to let it out before it engulfed me.


Poem
My love is Toxic
Sooo please don't fall in love
i have a trail of broken hearts 
buried behind all my innocent smiles
its a graveyard of love
my kisses are psycho tropic drugs
so only kiss my lips if you are ready
ready to overdose on all my false hopes
im just a bit down now
give me a few seconds 
lemme take my happy pills
now, i swear i can promise to be happy
to be happy with you forever
or until i come off from my high
but in either case
i can only beg you
please, don't fall in love with me